Traffic

Every day I am amazed afresh at the blistering speed with which traffic flows into and out of downtown Cleveland. Just this morning, I was compelled to take my car all the way to second gear on more than one occasion. At one point, the flow of traffic achieved a hair-raising speed of 14 miles per hour. That amounts to slightly more than 22.5 kilometers per hour, or mach 0.018391842.

I felt like an astronaut, on the verge of blackout as incredible G-forces pressed my body helplessly into the recesses of my acceleration couch. When I passed a sign that read, "Caution! 25 MPH zone ahead" I braced myself for a heart-stopping burst of speed. To my relief, the sign turned out to be somewhat optimistic. I'm not sure I could have survived much more excitement.

After standing on the clutch for just 110 minutes - a mere augenblick in geological time - I had traversed the 11 miles to my workplace. Dizzy and pumped with adrenaline from the stupendous rush of the journey, it was all I could do to settle down into the daily office routine.

Isn't there anything the authorities can do to slow things down so that people aren't overwhelmed with the thrill of rush-hour driving? Perhaps they could close a couple of lanes or install speed-bumps all along the freeway, or force everyone to drive backward. Anything to take the edge off.