Not curious yellow or any other color

I hurt my back the other day while moving furninture.

Sympathetic, my wife said, "I have Ben Gay."

I replied, "Really? I've never even been curious."

Tourist's guide to Mexico

An Associated Press report for January 26, 2006 states:

MEXICO CITY: About 70,000 maps showing highways, rescue beacons and water tanks in the Arizona desert will be distributed in Mexico in an attempt to curb the death toll among illegal border crossers.

"The only thing we are trying to do is warn them ofthe risks they face and where to get water, so they don't die." (Mauricio Farah)

Following this excellent example, American travel agencies have produced brochures for tourists planning to visit Mexico. The brochures provide survival information in hopes of reducing the rate of victimization by corrupt government officials, corrupt police officers, roving gangs of petty criminals and drug addicts, medical quacks offering inexpensive treatment in unsanitary conditions, underage prostitutes infected with HIV and other nasties, and international drug cartels engaged in turf wars.

Tourists can find practical information such as the correct amounts for bribing different sorts of government officials and law enforcement officers and what kinds of infections to expect when renting Mexican girls from their parents. The brochures also teach tourists how to say important survival phrases in Spanish, such as "Please do not shoot me. I am not a member of your rival drug gang."

"The only thing we are trying to do is warn them ofthe risks they face and where to get clean drinking water, so they don't die." (travel industry spokesperson)

A day late and a doll short

Yesterday was Voodoo Day in Benin. Happy belated Voodoo Day, everyone! Hope you had a fine old time sticking pins in your enemies and feasting on whole roast goat.

I wonder why, in the spirit of multiculturalism, we didn't get a paid company holiday?

Extreme dezomeshiki

The fire brigade in Shimohetsugi capped their annual dezomeshiki with a novel way of demonstrating their firefighting skills: They accidentally set their own firehouse alight. By the time they had put the fire out, the second floor of the building had been destroyed. Sumimasen, machigaemashita!

Coffee break

Would you like some coffee? I made it myself. Don't ask for the recipe.

"Kopi Luwak beans from Indonesia are rare and expensive, thanks to a unique taste and aroma enhanced by the digestive system of palm civets, nocturnal tree-climbing creatures [who] eat ripe coffee cherries for treats. The coffee beans, which are found inside of the cherries, remain intact after passing through the animal. Civet droppings are found on the forest floor near coffee plantations. Once carefully cleaned and roasted, the beans are sold [for about $175/lb]."